If you deer hunt long enough, you’ll eventually settle on some preferences on how you go #2 in the woods. I consider myself somewhat of a connoisseur of pooping in the deer woods.
Following are some tips on the best way to handle your business when it just can’t wait till you get back to camp.
- Plan ahead!
- Gather wiping materials
- Site selection
- Watch out for critters
- Kick out a hole
- Assume the “natural posture” or otherwise
- Do the business
- Bury and cover it up
1. Advance Preparation, If You Have Time To Do So
Pack These Items
- Toilet paper
- Trowel or small shovel
- Wet wipes
- Hand sanitizer
- Pepto
- Potty chair
Prepare ahead and pack all the necessary supplies needed for a pleasant woodland movement. Ideally you’ll need a trowel to dig a small hole, wiping materials, and hand sanitizer. Keep supplies in both your hunting vehicle as well as your day pack.
Appropriate Potty Supplies are always in order any time you’re at deer camp. In addition to the above, you should also pack medicines, such Pepto, as well as some wet wipes.
Perhaps consider keeping a camping potty chair in your truck. Those are handy for hunters with bad knees.
2. Find Some Wiping Supplies
Civilized Options
If at all possible gather together something to wipe with. The obvious go to is toilet paper, but that requires prior planning. Other good options are paper towels, wet wipes or napkins. When you really get in a bind, you can use articles of clothing. From there, things start going downhill.
Emergency Wiping Supplies
In a pinch, socks make a good wiper, as does pants pockets, neck gaiters and parts of a shirt. Pretty much any article of hunting clothing you feel like you could sacrifice.
Natural Butt-Wiping Options From The Forest
In the deer woods there are usually natural wiping supplies available for your use. Obviously some are better than others, and some are to be avoided no matter what. The big three to consider are big smooth rocks, grass folded over, or leaves. Leaves are the big winner here. Just be sure you don’t use anything poisonous! The other commonly suggested items which I have never used are sticks, bark and snow. Um…, good luck with those.
3. Choosing A Site For A #2
No need to exit your entire hunting area. The deer don’t care that you had to drop a deuce in their territory. However, it is officially recommended that you find a spot 70 yards from any human trails or water sources. In case you’re curious, there is an entire website dedicated to leaving no trace in the deer woods. Just google “Leave No Trace”.
4. Avoid Snakes, Spiders And Ticks
I like to get far away from others, but not really deep into the thickest stuff. That’s where the bad critters hide. By far the scariest concerns for me are snakes and spiders. Snakes are easy enough to spot and avoid. Spiders however require a keener eye, so beware. Especially when squatting, your unmentionables are in quite the vulnerable position, so you should proceed with extreme caution.
5. Clear Out The Target Area
Use your boot to clear out the area and try to make a depression in the ground using your heel. The deeper the better. It’s best if you have a small trowel for this purpose, but I doubt many deer hunters carry a shovel around.
6. Assume The Position And Do The Deed
The first thing to note is that we as humans are perfectly designed to do this without soiling our hunting clothes or boots in the process. Our piping seems to line up properly when we squat down. That might come to a surprise to folks that lived their entire lives using a toilet. The simple act of squatting points things where they need to go.
For me, I find that a natural squatting position is just perfect for the deed. No matter what position you prefer, always take a moment to be sure boots and other hunting clothing is out of the line of fire.
Perhaps squatting isn’t your preference, especially if you have knee issues. I had a hunting buddy that always had to find either a leaning tree or a log to sit on. I never found a need for that. Others hunters choose to grab a tree in front of them for support.
7. Cover It Up!
Unless you’re hunting your own land, please dig a hole and bury things afterwards. Although it may feel counterintuitive to have to bury your “remains”, it is important, especially in frequently visited areas, or places near water sources.
Crappy Public Land Considerations
Most of my business gets done on my own remote hunting property. In the past it was instead performed on private hunting camps. Obviously there is a bit more freedom of “movement” on private lands. However, if you’re using public lands, you should follow “Leave No Trace” protocols as best you can.
What About Those Camping Potty Chairs?
So, what about the potty chairs available for campers? I personally have never used one, as I am fine with going the natural route. I do however know hunters that use them. If you go that route, look underneath for spiders and wasp nests first.
Avoid What Prompts Emergency Bathroom Breaks
Ideally you would avoid things that stimulate a #2 when you don’t have a bathroom at your disposal. That includes, but not limited to, coffee, dairy, greasy foods, and spicy foods. Let’s be real. What hunter is actually giving up coffee and fast food during deer season?
Does Pooping In The Woods Bother Deer?
No, pooping in the woods does not spook deer. There are loads of accounts from hunters killing bucks after taking a dump nearby. I cannot personally claim such an accomplishment, but I’ve seen plenty of un-spooked deer after taking care of business somewhere nearby. It’s not that they don’t smell it. Rather, it’s that they don’t associate it with danger.
Conclusion
Despite my lengthy list, going to the bathroom in the woods doesn’t have to be complicated. Just keep some toilet paper or wipes on you at all times to make things easier on yourself. I keep some in both my truck and in my hunting pack. You can simply squat down and do what’s natural. Preferably you will poop in a hole and bury everything afterwards.
Now that you know how to poop in the deer woods, why not have that coffee in the stand after all. 😉 Read here all about drinking coffee in the deer stand.
Augustus Clay
